Have you ever noticed how some days life feels like either an episode from Sex in the City or an episode of the political satire House of Cards? Whether we binge watch with a huge bowl of popcorn or not, Netflix re-runs give us a feeling of comfort. We know with certainty, how it will end.
Music is a universal language that most all can hear and feel. Rather than embrace diversity and awareness, I most often take refuge in tune familiarity. I will repeatedly listen to one or two songs from an album. Not because the other songs aren’t decent, rather because I want music recognition. I want to know the words. I want to intimately feel the melody. Thus, I choose the song that is casually comfortable.
Each morning, before your feet even hit the floor, do you feel dreadfully concerned about the new day? Maybe you never leave home without your black umbrella. You know, the trusty dark umbrella that you hold above your head that supports your anger, acidity, and resentment of others and self. No matter your daily destination, you continue to use your comfort shield of negativity. Maybe it is talking, typing, or texting the same sentiment time & time again because that is what you feel comfortable sharing.
A certain amount of predictability is essential for the evolution of daily life. Today, I speak more to our way of behaving. I speak of “sameness”. It is doing the same damn thing, day after day, night after night, yet continuing to feel dull, empty, and bored. It is sharing the same words, then obtaining the same reply, when you thought you would receive something original. When we demand or define how one must feel towards us, this emotional self-sabotage keeps the cycle of stuckness and negativity rolling.
When we lose our ability to feel hopeful acceptance, we become demanding of another. When we deny accepting “what is” we then start to expect. We expect people to be different than they are. We expect situations to be dissimilar, and they are not. We expect life to be fair and it is not.
It is in our expectation of self and others, that we begin to understand that we must embrace life flexibility and what is. Or we risk accepting a rigidity of life that will prevent real positivity, change, and connection.
Imagine if trees did not sway and move with varying winds and weather;
or if every Fall trees did not rid their dead leaves to make way for new and vibrant growth;
or if the trees were not fortified with adequate nutrients and water.
Just imagine how lifeless nature would become.
There are three letters that comprise two itty-bitty words. When small yet mighty are united, their influence in our life can be gigantic. These two powerful words are “it is”. When we accept our self, others, and life as “it is”, we begin to see the power of self-action.
To become gracefully unstuck in a world that continually demands so much, we must simplify our feelings in such a complex world. In necessity, we begin to believe “it is”. Only after we accept “it is”, can we ask the questions that allow us to become unstuck.
Always frame your questions with an understanding that life just is. Your first question should always be the same. If we believe “it is”, then ask, how can I Love Forward?
Love forward allows us to examine what we presently want and currently feel. Love forward helps to define current love and love reciprocity. Do not allow your expectations of others to interfere with defining a love forward. If you are feeling stuck, you have not asked the question of how to love forward in that situation. Truly defining your love forward will allow you to become unstuck and move forward with acceptance of the nonjudgmental variety.
I leave you with this my friend.
I certainly do not mean to simplify our worldly problems or our personal struggles. Feelings of stuckness or stagnation are the results of unrealistic expectations of self or others.
Using the lens of simplicity may allow us to begin feeling less fearfully anxious and more genuinely hopeful. When we begin to accept “it is” with a non-judgmental heart, then we can openly ask ourselves, “how can I love forward”?